I am so frustrated! I have misplaced my tiara! ugh!
The last few weeks have been quite eventful, and as I sit today and think back I realize that, life is just not at all that I had planned for it to be by the time I was 31 years old! Growing up as a princess, I had a vision for my life... you know... the perfect "Ken" looking husband and of course after children I was still gorgeous with the Barbie body! I would have the two perfect kids, one boy and one girl of course; the little house with the white porch and two rocking chairs on it, where my husband and I would sit each evening sipping our coffee and talking about our days... Well, let me tell you, that is not at all what I have at 31 years old! I do have the dashing husband ;), and I have a nice house, it is very roomy, but most days it looks more like a tornado has come thru it instead of the two little well-behaved children I had in mind! I am lacking a little in the "Barbie" looks area, I must say. Where I once had a nice ripped 4-pack, I have what some would call a ahem, "road-map"; the beautiful shiny hair is usually a little more like the "I didn't have time to wash it this morning because the alarm clock went off 15 minutes late!" hair. Things on this Barbie have been rearranged and completely dislocated! The two adorable children I had in mind, are in reality, FOUR children, three of which completely make me insane! The twins, which you met a few blogs back, are constantly into something new, whether it is painting their room with their own dookie; or standing on their twin bads, facing one another and peeing on the other's bed across from them; painting my nightstand with my red fingernail polish or maybe even just wrestling all over the house breaking anything and everything in sight! Then I have the one little girl I dreamed of, except my little girl is an emotional roller-coaster! One minute things are great, the next I am having to talk her down off the ledge because the world has come to a tragic end! My oldest son is actually pretty normal (not sure how that happened!).
I have had time to ponder these things over the past few days because I had a small surgery on this "barbie" body of mine last week, while I'm thinking about it, since when did Princesses have to have surgery to remove things like small tumors? I must speak with someone on this matter, because I just cannot function in these conditions! At any rate, I have been required to rest. No cooking and cleaning constantly like normal; no laundry, showering the kids, getting them in bed, coaching the soccer team, buying the groceries, etc.. All of these things that I am so used to doing, I have not been allowed to do because of this surgery I had. So finally, after all this time, I am being treated like the Princess that I know I am; being waited on hand and foot by my amazing husband, someone else taking the kids to school, someone else cooking dinner, doing the laundry, coaching the soccer team, etc...
It is only then that it hit me: I do not like this "Princess life"! Sure it is nice every now and then to get to rest and let someone else handle the chaos, but for a long term thing, no way! I like being the one who cooks for my little family and hears all of the "I hate this", "this is so good mom", or even the occasional, "thank you for dinner mom"; yes, those are the moments that I miss right now. As for the house, I would love to have a house that was always in order, always clean, and the perfect little house that I always dreamed of having, but then, I would have to worry all the time about the kids messing it up, ruining some expensive throw or pillow. Could we truly LIVE in a house like that? Could we really have such amazing family time and memories in a house like that? I wonder if our memories would be as funny, if the twins ruined a $300 night stand as opposed to the $30 night stand that they did ruin, could I laugh as hard if I had all of the finer things in life at 31? I do not think so. I think it would be filled with much less joy and laughter if my life had actually turned out the way I always dreamed or imagined... I think God knew exactly what I needed...
So, at 31 years old, is life everything I had imagined as a little princess? Not even close! It is SO much more than I could have ever hoped or dreamed it would be!! ...now where did I put that tiara.... OH! There it is! Right at the bottom of the big pile of laundry!
