I'm guessing that the "pondering" that I have been doing this morning is a residual effect of the last few weeks, where I have been having a real "heart transplant", so to speak... So as I'm re-evaluating my life as a follower of Christ, a mother, a wife, a friend...well, you get the idea; it would be impossible not to look at the influence of my parents in my life. I was very blessed to have the mom and dad that I had, and like most people, you never truely appreciate them until you become a parent yourself, right? :) But yesterday Kennedy had a very special date with her daddy, so we went shopping for the perfect dress with her great-grandma and she bought her the outfit, then I fixed her hair "wavy like Taylor Swift's" just as the princess requested, painted her finger-nails and toe-nails, and made sure that everything was perfect for this special night with her amazing dad. She is a major "daddy's girl" and I love that, I want to help nurture that relationship more than anything. Maybe it's because I had such a great father and I want my daughter to experience the same things - because I know how that relationship impacts one's entire life. Either way, there I was scurrying about, getting all the details together and making sure that HE was truely her "Knight in shinning armor" last night, and it got me thinking.... I learned this from somewhere....
I grew up part of my life in Louisiana, then we moved to Texas when I was 9. My dad was a pastor of three different churches over the course of my life, and it was truely his calling, he loved to love people and he loved for people to love him! I've never met a man like him. Then there was my mom.... wow, where to start about her... There's never a time in my memory that she was not there, every memory I have, every detail of my life - even to this very day - she has been there. No, she was not usually the center of attention (that literally makes her ill :), she was never in the spotlight like my dad, so to speak. She was not full of demands, requests, or any form or egocentric behavior at all. And though she was not in the spotlight, she always shone. She was always right there, in the background of my dad's ministry, making sure all the "little things" were taken care of, because everyone knows that a few little things go un-noticed until someone does not do them, then they become very big things! :) But there she was - everywhere my dad was and it was not until recently that I realized something: she was the reason that the rest of us succeeded at the little things, but she was also the reason that we were successful at the big things in our lives. All of us, from my dad on down to myself and my sister and brother. Yet, she never sought out the glory or the credit, she just quietly orchestrated our symphony, and most of the time, without any recognition for the beautiful work and scenarios that she had created for us and with us.
She made sure we sat down at our dinner table every night as a family and had a homecooked meal. She made sure we lived in a well-kept home, it was never extravagant or expensive, but it was always beautifully decorated and tidy, I was never embarrased to bring anyone to my home. And as I experienced last night, even the things in my life that I always thought were someone else's wonderful doings, now I can look back and see that she was in the background there also! What an amazing woman - I always joke that I must think I'm Superwoman because I always have about ten irons in the fire, but in my case, about eight out of ten usually get dropped into the fire and burn to a crisp! Lol! :D
But not her. No, she did it all and I never remember her failing at anything - nothing in my childhood was ever chaotic or unorganized. Everything was neat and taken care of... it was always her.
I would love to say that I inherited all of these talents from her.... but if you know me or have ever been to my house you know that it is not usually tidy, it is very often chaotic and Lord knows I do not always get everything taken care of in time or how it is supposed to be done. But last night, I saw my mom's reflection when I looked at myself in my minds eye.... as I stood there in the doorway and watched my precious little girl walk to the car with her daddy's arm tightly around her waist, I knew that this would be a night that she would never forget, it will impact every relationship she has with boys, then someday a man - what a high bar he has set for any guy who tries to grab her attention. As I stood there and watching them get into the truck and drive off I sighed, "aahh, success", then I saw it: I had orchestrated the whole thing. I saw the flyer about the dance and bought the tickets and then told Jimi about it (which he was very excited about and really wanted to make it special for her, so not to take anything away from him), but I realized that I had made that happen for them, and it brought me so much joy! That's when I saw my mother's reflection when looking at myself. Yes, that is the woman I want to be. Kennedy will always remember last night and sing her dad's praises, probably even to her own children someday, as I do with mine, and I am SO thrilled about that! That is my mom, and to this day, she will probably read this and want to crawl under a rock, because she does not seek praise or recognition - BUT, she also did not raise me to be unthankful and not share how wonderful people are, so... sorry mom! :)
Was she perfect? Absolutely not. Has she made mistakes? Well, of course. Shockingly enough, people love to put all your mistakes on display, while hiding the amazing, beautiful things about you. You know what she taught me about that? Keep serving others, keep loving others, let God handle the sticky stuff and you just move on and keep on living, because in the end, it is always better to be a servant, humble and kind to everyone. In her, I see the eyes of Jesus. In her, I see so much of the woman, mother, friend, wife.... that I desire to be. Thanks mom, I have a lot to learn and a long way to go to get there, but if I follow in your footsteps I know I will get there. Here's to you! The most unselfish, kind, loving, beautiful, Christ-centered woman I know! ...may I someday be the "wind beneath my children's and husband's wings" as you have been for all of us, all of our lives....
